Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Did God Create Me to Be a Wife?

A few weeks ago, I shared my heart on the topic of "what if I'm called to singleness?" (here).

Here is another limb of the same tree.

Maybe I don't think I'm "called to singleness" in the course of my life, and I'm not "preparing" for that, but maybe I don't think God created me to be a wife, either. And I want y'all to see both sides of the coin.

But let's zoom it out, first.

Why did God create mankind, as a race?

Before the great flood of Genesis, the Bible says God repented and grieved that He had made mankind. If He knows everything, and isn't constrained to time, didn't He know man would use their free will to choose the wrong path all along? Yes. Yes, He did. He created man anyways, though, because He can show Himself even more strong through something imperfect. Rocks and flowers and glaciers are already sinless and perfect, which shows Himself a perfect creator. But His peace, love, grace, mercy, and etc., can only be extended and proven with something flawed. Thus He gave us free will. (He is so perfect, He can't even create something imperfect.) So, He made us perfect and let us defile ourselves, always planning and paving a path to redemption, which does and will glorify Him even greater than all the other elements of His perfect Creation, and will ring throughout eternity when we're with Him, praising Him.

He created us for His glory, folks.

Step one: we're not in the will of God if we aren't glorifying Him in word, deed, and truth.

But as we zoom these binoculars of life in, there's just little me.

I'm a female. A lady. A maiden. A daughter, granddaughter, sister... future mother and aunt?!

What does the Bible say about my gender? Why did we even come about, specifically, even after mankind was created for His glory?

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

I'm not going to go bashing anyone, but I've seen a sickening amount of literature on 'help meets'. Sickening, not in self, but in that it's A-L-W-A-Y-S stripped out of context.

Because 'help meet' = 'wife'


Um. No. God hath not said.

Yes, that specific help meet did became Adam's wife, but before there was that union—and even before she had a name—she was a 'help'. (Note 'meet', in Bible terminology, means 'fitting, good enough, for'.)

Even if there had been no marriage and all that goes with that, she would have still been a help, fitting for Adam and the work God had given Him.

That's why the female gender was created. So with that gender identifying me, I fall in line under that calling. Don't you think?

The modern church kind of makes me want to bang my head against a wall sometimes with how much we strip out of context and create our own versions of what the Bible means and tell everyone else that our interpretation is exactly what they should see in the Scripture, too.

The lady was created to be a help meet for Adam. Not a wife. She became his wife.

So, unmarried young lady, you're a help meet, too.

Suspend your memory of all those book titles about help meets which use the title interchangeably with wife.

What you are called to do or be is never contingent on your circumstances.

Does that sound like God?

"You must do this, be this, say this... once something else happens, someday, whenever that is... Saith the Lord." ...?

I don't think so.

If you are called to be a help meet (if you are a lady, you are), then you are a help meet! There's no "after you have an engagement band" clause. God's plan doesn't work like the fine print of a cell phone contract.

If you are called to be the light and salt of the earth, then be it.

If you are called to share the Gospel (you are—the Great Commission applies to every New Testament believer), don't give me this stuff about not being "equipped" and all that. God's calling has no contingencies.

Just the same, if you know you've been called to be a help meet, don't expect it to all come together when you become a wife. That's just not how it works. Being a wife does have contingencies. Being a help meet does not.

Step two: be a help. Meet for them.

Just be it. Do it. Clean it. Wash it. Sing it. Help it. Pray for it. Be meet for them (fitting, good enough), just what everyone around you needs. Your siblings need a supporter and encourager. Your parents need help with housework and running errands. Your friends need a listener and sounding board, ready with edifying Scriptures in trying times. Your neighbor needs a reliable babysitter. The stranger in the checkout line next to you needs a smile of kindness because they've had a really rough life you don't know about. The missionaries need a prayer warrior.

You—yes you!—my sister in Christ, lost in the world of knowing you're called to be a help meet, but not having a man to direct all your helpful attentions on, you can be a help, meet for all of them.

And if/when that wedding band does appear, you'll be so prepared to be a help meet for him! Can you just imagine! I know the big fuss is "how are we preparing for marriage" and all, but if we're doing our very best to be a help meet for all those around us now, I'm confident God will prepare us for the future on today's training grounds.

Did got create me to be a wife?


I was created to glorify God as a human, and be a help as a lady.

Once you or I are married, yes, it is God's will for us to be the best wife we can be, through His strength.

But just as far as the unmarried girls go, calm down. You're not missing your life's purpose because you aren't married. You're missing your life's purpose because you let the daydreams of marriage consume you to the point where you're completely useless to the people who need your help today.

Those are just my thoughts, for a little more closure on this subject of being called or created to marry.

Feel free to continue the discussion in the comments! Sharing is caring!☺


1 comment:

  1. I am still young, so this is not a problem for me yet, but thank you for being so real and honest in this post!


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