Monday, March 27, 2017

The Realities of Daily Struggles



They say hindsight is 20/20, and sure that makes sense, but do you remember what you ate for breakfast on this day three weeks ago?

We remember the time we broke our arm, but not the ten million times we stubbed our toe on a chair leg.

We remember the times when God really brought us through a valley—when life was at its worst. But we tend to forget that time last week when we, oh, I don't know, left the laundry in the wash and had dark and white clothes bleeding together. But that happens, doesn't it?

And, while the big things definitely do change us and our lives, I think it's probably equally if not more so important that we're handling the little things correctly, also, for those happen every day. Whatever attitude we have facing the littles will be the basic attitude everyone around us attributes us with and the children in our lives copy. Whatever mindset we have facing the littles will be the mindset we have when we face the monstrous.

It's so hard, right? 

Because we speak English here, there are quite literally hundreds of adjectives and adverbs we could put in here.

Depressing?

Embarrassing? 

Frustrating?

Unnecessary? 

Things just don't and won't go our way every day.

How are we handling that?

Recently I had been practicing a viola part to an orchestral arrangement of 'Sunlight in My Soul' by Tracy Ann Collins. For weeks. It's in alto clef and I was more or less using this piece of music to teach myself to read alto clef. I had played in said clef before, but, after a couple years of not really practicing, I had lost the skill. My motive behind working so hard on this specific song was to audition with said piece for the ATI Big Sandy Family Conference orchestra. At some point in time, this was the required audition piece for violists.

So.

Just picture my horror upon randomly opening up the website at the last minute to discover
the 2017 audition piece is something completely different?!?! Ughhh. Whyyy. This new piece is also in alto clef, which I now feel a lot better at since practicing these weeks, but this is in two very much harder keys than the other I had been practicing. And now the calendar tells me we're in the home stretch of a mad sprint towards the audition deadline. Besides that, I barely know this song's melody, so the alto line is doubly hard to hear.

Anyways.

Musician problems.

Sorry if I lost you there.

But my point is, I sat there for a solid two minutes after realizing I had been practicing the wrong piece, staring at my computer screen, mouth gaping in incredulity, wanting to give it up.

I had the song. The other one—the wrong one. It was almost perfect. What possessed me to open up the site and dash my hopes upon the rocks of despair, I have no idea.

Quit. 

The easy way out.

Obviously.

But I took a deep breath, really tired at the end of a long, busy day, pulled out my viola, and plucked out the notes. I messed up a lot. The rhythm? Not even close. But I can't be the example to anyone that says giving up when it gets uncomfortable is okay. 

So I practiced it as much as I could in a very short window of time, and submitted the audition recording today, the deadline.

You know what? I kind of doubt I'll be accepted into the orchestra at this point.

I am trying to toot my own horn as neither a violist nor a determined and persevering warrior. Because neither claim would hold any truth.

It's a little hurdle. It's a little choice. I'm sure nobody would miss me if I just hadn't worried anymore with the audition. If I had just taken a longer, relaxing lunch during Family Conference, instead of rushing off to orchestra practice every afternoon. (Or making that my goal.) I mean, you wouldn't even know about all this if I just didn't tell you!

But 1) I can't tell my little sisters (or anyone else in my life; you) to keep on trying if I can't even. And 2) whatever mindset I cultivate in all of these little life obstacles [which I won't remember in a few months], will be the mindset I have when I go forth into the next dark, miry storm.

So I go forth. I try. In God's strength I did my best, and maybe just maybe it'll be good enough. Does it really matter, though? Conquering that temptation to give it up has already made me victorious, as far as I'm concerned.

Be strong and press on for His glory, my friends!




2 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. :) Update: I made the orchestra cuts!! God is so good. He makes me happy even when I did totally bad and shouldn't have deserved it. ;)

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